find out that were having a baby boy
Friday, September 26, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
The Mink returns...dun Dun DUNNNN!!!!!
So I have left you all hanging for a little while for this intense edge of your seat thrilling sequel, and now it is time to reveal the 2nd half of this horrifying saga.
Tami and I had decided to have a nice night at home and just watch a movie. We ended up dogging out on some friends and were looking forward to the quiet comforts of our humble abode. Being the classy and fashionable individual I am, I slipped into my AC/DC t-shirt and some XXL sweat shorts and prepared for this pleasant evening of sitting, scratching, eating, and lounging in front of the tube (in no particular order). We put on a flick and hit play.
The night had been a serene and pleasant evening. Uneventful and undisturbed, no annoying paintball calls, Tami didn't even call her mom the usual 7 times in 3 hours, and thankfully no church calls. So far so good. The movie ended and we were just hanging around watching T.V. By this time it was about midnight. That's when it happened...
Molly starts going crazy! "Oh man...not again" was the first thought in my head. Then I heard it. That creepy blood curdling wail the devil creature's make. Well luckily I was awake and fortunately dressed this time. Already one step ahead. The thing I didn't have going for me were: first, I have the dogs loose in the yard so I have no idea where the mayhem could be going down this time, and the crazy little bastard might be even harder to shoe away with this much ground. And second, regrettably the sprinklers are on right now. Oh well no time to whine, I need to act with haste and valour! I flick on the outside lights and head into the fray. Directly in front of the deck in the middle of the lawn goes the battle. The Mink is in the center of a circling Molly and Angus. Up on its hind legs with teeth barred and ready for the fight. Even in the dim light and from 30 feet away I can see its little dagger like teeth poised and waiting to strike. This possessed animal can definitely hold its own. As Molly ducks and weaves like Ali around his opponent the mink never takes its eyes off her. Standing in its defensive position it knows she is the one out of its two enemies that will come in for the blow. ( My hands are getting sweaty just reliving the moment. I hope you are getting a grasp of the severity of this all!!!) Molly swoops in for a quick attack and a little nip bite. The defender evades with a arching move backwards and counters. A quick little bite on Molly's nose lets her know this is not going to be easy and the mink will not fall without a fight. Barking, circling, and bouncing around the mink Molly tries to keep her withing the ring she wants this brawl in. Screaming, squawking, and occasional lunges this mink continues to access the predicament it has gotten in to.
After taking all of this in within a couple seconds I decide I will enter in and conquer Satan's spawn once and for all! I rushed down the wood stairs and into the yard. Angus being the loyal and lovable companion he is jovially bounds over to me as soon as I call his name. I take him by the collar and decide this will be easiest with out the k-9's in the fight. I also don't want him getting hurt as he is a little accident prone. He mostly cooperates and I get him in the dog run. Molly on the other hand doesn't have the time of day to hear what I am saying. Wont even look away from the mink when I call her. Not willing to go in myself and get bitten by either one of them I just kinda pace around like a schoolboy who just watched his bus drive away. Luckily my sidekick Tamara was on the deck above and suggested I get the paintball gun and finish this once and for all. I ran back in the house and into the garage. Hurried and set up the weapon that would vanquish my foe and return peace to my humble home. Running back outside armed and ready to go I found the the fight had drifted a little ways across the yard. I knelt down, took aim, and fired a single round into the mink. The sound startled Molly and the impact stunned the mink. The time to act and get Molly away was now. I rushed in and grabbed her. Put her in the pen and headed back. By this time most of the neighborhood was up and my next door neighbor was already in my yard to see what was going on. When he came in, I had assumed a squatting sniper position and was shooting the mink in the face with shot after shot. Although a little fun, maybe a little sick, my efforts were futile. It was not making it run away and had not killed it. That's when the cavalry came.
Tyson another valiant neighbor charged in the yard, beer in one hand cigarette in the other with his comrades. Yelling "is that a mink?" "lemme get it" he scrambled around the yard for a weapon of mass destruction. Armed with an eight foot 2X4 he took off into the sprinklers across the entire lot to chase down a now retreating and probably wounded mink. Swinging the board like the great hammer of Thor and nearly breaking my fence in the process he squashed out the life of the savage mink. The same creature that took 2 dogs, one brave warrior, 4 friends, and 2 meetings to overcome. The war was over! Hoisting the lifeless animal up in the air by its tail, Tyson the caveman brought his kill back to us all. After admiring it and reliving the adrenaline filled story all was finally calm. Everyone returned home, Tyson taking his trophy with him. Fortunately we have not had another since. I am sure in the mink world the story has traveled far and wide and no mink will ever dare to come near house 931 or its surroundings ever again.
The end.
Tami and I had decided to have a nice night at home and just watch a movie. We ended up dogging out on some friends and were looking forward to the quiet comforts of our humble abode. Being the classy and fashionable individual I am, I slipped into my AC/DC t-shirt and some XXL sweat shorts and prepared for this pleasant evening of sitting, scratching, eating, and lounging in front of the tube (in no particular order). We put on a flick and hit play.
The night had been a serene and pleasant evening. Uneventful and undisturbed, no annoying paintball calls, Tami didn't even call her mom the usual 7 times in 3 hours, and thankfully no church calls. So far so good. The movie ended and we were just hanging around watching T.V. By this time it was about midnight. That's when it happened...
Molly starts going crazy! "Oh man...not again" was the first thought in my head. Then I heard it. That creepy blood curdling wail the devil creature's make. Well luckily I was awake and fortunately dressed this time. Already one step ahead. The thing I didn't have going for me were: first, I have the dogs loose in the yard so I have no idea where the mayhem could be going down this time, and the crazy little bastard might be even harder to shoe away with this much ground. And second, regrettably the sprinklers are on right now. Oh well no time to whine, I need to act with haste and valour! I flick on the outside lights and head into the fray. Directly in front of the deck in the middle of the lawn goes the battle. The Mink is in the center of a circling Molly and Angus. Up on its hind legs with teeth barred and ready for the fight. Even in the dim light and from 30 feet away I can see its little dagger like teeth poised and waiting to strike. This possessed animal can definitely hold its own. As Molly ducks and weaves like Ali around his opponent the mink never takes its eyes off her. Standing in its defensive position it knows she is the one out of its two enemies that will come in for the blow. ( My hands are getting sweaty just reliving the moment. I hope you are getting a grasp of the severity of this all!!!) Molly swoops in for a quick attack and a little nip bite. The defender evades with a arching move backwards and counters. A quick little bite on Molly's nose lets her know this is not going to be easy and the mink will not fall without a fight. Barking, circling, and bouncing around the mink Molly tries to keep her withing the ring she wants this brawl in. Screaming, squawking, and occasional lunges this mink continues to access the predicament it has gotten in to.
After taking all of this in within a couple seconds I decide I will enter in and conquer Satan's spawn once and for all! I rushed down the wood stairs and into the yard. Angus being the loyal and lovable companion he is jovially bounds over to me as soon as I call his name. I take him by the collar and decide this will be easiest with out the k-9's in the fight. I also don't want him getting hurt as he is a little accident prone. He mostly cooperates and I get him in the dog run. Molly on the other hand doesn't have the time of day to hear what I am saying. Wont even look away from the mink when I call her. Not willing to go in myself and get bitten by either one of them I just kinda pace around like a schoolboy who just watched his bus drive away. Luckily my sidekick Tamara was on the deck above and suggested I get the paintball gun and finish this once and for all. I ran back in the house and into the garage. Hurried and set up the weapon that would vanquish my foe and return peace to my humble home. Running back outside armed and ready to go I found the the fight had drifted a little ways across the yard. I knelt down, took aim, and fired a single round into the mink. The sound startled Molly and the impact stunned the mink. The time to act and get Molly away was now. I rushed in and grabbed her. Put her in the pen and headed back. By this time most of the neighborhood was up and my next door neighbor was already in my yard to see what was going on. When he came in, I had assumed a squatting sniper position and was shooting the mink in the face with shot after shot. Although a little fun, maybe a little sick, my efforts were futile. It was not making it run away and had not killed it. That's when the cavalry came.
Tyson another valiant neighbor charged in the yard, beer in one hand cigarette in the other with his comrades. Yelling "is that a mink?" "lemme get it" he scrambled around the yard for a weapon of mass destruction. Armed with an eight foot 2X4 he took off into the sprinklers across the entire lot to chase down a now retreating and probably wounded mink. Swinging the board like the great hammer of Thor and nearly breaking my fence in the process he squashed out the life of the savage mink. The same creature that took 2 dogs, one brave warrior, 4 friends, and 2 meetings to overcome. The war was over! Hoisting the lifeless animal up in the air by its tail, Tyson the caveman brought his kill back to us all. After admiring it and reliving the adrenaline filled story all was finally calm. Everyone returned home, Tyson taking his trophy with him. Fortunately we have not had another since. I am sure in the mink world the story has traveled far and wide and no mink will ever dare to come near house 931 or its surroundings ever again.
The end.
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